Disheartening, Negative Comments
Unfortunately, some individuals feel the need to make awkward comments on people’s appearance, often in the first moments of greeting.
This is something I have noticed particularly in Sri Lanka, although it may be similar in many other countries.
Try not to pay attention to/try to ignore unwanted remarks such as…
- “What has happened to you?”
- “You look so bloated”
- “You have gained so much of weight…”
- “You look utterly unfit”
- “Look at the size of your tummy”
- …and so many more, too offensive to mention
Maybe some cannot imagine the hurt, pain and psychological impact of their seemingly fleeting words; but these can cause unnecessary heart ache and may have a major negative impact on mental health.
If a person is overweight or obese, has gained weight, he/she does not need to be reminded about it. Individuals are aware of it without being told over and over again!
On the other hand, once a person is in the process of dieting, exercising and has successfully lost weight, looking after his/her health with increased intensity, he/she may receive remarks like
- “What has happened to you, you have lost so much of weight!”
- “You look ‘drawn’”
- “What’s wrong with you?”
- “Are you sick?”
- “Do you have diabetes, cancer?”
- “Now you are too thin…”
- …and similar
On the other end of the scale some are made felt they are too skinny; these individuals may find it hard to believe: hundreds of thousands wish to be like them, a perfectly ‘normal’, healthy size according to genetic predisposition.
Today a lean person is often singled out as being thin. This ‘thin’ individual was yesterdays ‘regular’. Tomorrow people may identify ‘normal’ body size with excess, unhealthy body fat? Hopefully not!
In the meantime we see the ‘Big is beautiful’ Movement.
If remarks are really necessary, they should be done with thought and insight, should motivate rather than devastate and should encourage such as
“I see you have lost weight. It’s great that you are looking after yourself”
If a person has gained a noticeable amount of weight, it is better not to comment at all, because the person concerned is aware of it and probably struggling with this.
Hurtful comments can do a lot of harm, whilst compliments give confidence. Think before you speak.
Individuals who feel the need to make negative comments about others are often insecure and sometimes intend to hurt to feel better about themselves.
Relatives and genuine friends can/should try and help, if they think excessive weight gain (or excessive weight loss) is harming their loved one’s physical and mental health. With the right amount of support and encouragement (which does not mean nagging!), they can play an important part in treatment.
Read more:
http://sigrid-desilva.com/weight-loss/
http://sigrid-desilva.com/eat-drink-live/
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